Cartoon Worship

Obama's inconsiderate wish to inform the American peaople about a war and the deployment of 30,000 troops to Afghanistan provoked outrage from the mayor of Arlington, Republican Russell Wiseman, because it prempted a cartoon. I guess his FOX news feed was out that night and cartoons how most informed republicrooks get their news...jeez, where is the sarcasm button on this computer?

His eloquence made the following pithy retort on his Facebook page:

"Ok, so, this is total crap, we sit the kids down to watch 'The Charlie Brown Christmas Special' and our muslim president is there, what a load.....try to convince me that wasn't done on purpose. Ask the man if he believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and he will give you a 10 minute disertation (sic) about it....when the answer should simply be 'yes'...." He goes on to say, "you obama people need to move to a muslim country...oh wait, that's America....pitiful."

Can such wisdom be topped? Wiseman continued."You know, our forefathers had it written in the original Constitution that ONLY property owners could vote, if that has stayed in there, things would be different........"

The Local time killers on AM560 hate radio, John and Cisco, could only find cause to rationalize and sympathize with Wiseman. His remarks provided a segway into a non-controversy with a CBS commercial for the sitcom "Two and a half Men" goofing on Frosty the Snowman. Oh the outrage over CBS's audacity for assailing the image of the sainted snowman. By the contrived or misplaced outrage one might conclude that Frosty and the Peanuts gang were standing in the manger with the baby Jesus. Or was Charlie Brown and Frosty crucified beside jesus while Lucy wept at...I forget my scripture sometimes.

Forgive me, but what do cartoon characters really have to do with the Birth of Jesus, of peace on earth and goodwill towards men? Guess those aren't important anymore. Go shopping, buy-buy-buy, hate gays and immigrants, shoot something, war-war-war-war! I guess that is what Christmas has become in America.

Republicrooks are outraged that these Christmas traditions have been abused by our Muslim President. The Peanuts and frosty the Snowman cartoon are maybe 25 or 30 years old. Considering roughly two thousand years since Jesus was born, I'd make the cartoons more of a recent habit than a tradition.

By the way, what do they think Santa and Misses Claus do in the off season? If they are good Christian souls then we can well imagine their love for one another is expressed in a variety of ways...and positions. Maybe over one of the toy benches in the workshop while the elves are away? Then again, all that down time in the cold North Pole might explain where all those elves came from in the first place!

Chicago and Mayor Daley hates Christmas

I've changed. I see the light! At last my eyes are open to just how vast the conspiracy is to destroy Chistmas. I can no longer deny the Left's utter hatred for the baby Jesus. Here I was all along looking for the spirit of the holidays, when the Christmas devil was right there in the details. I mean forget that Americans spent more than $40billion over the weekend for HOLIDAY gifts, the important thing is that we carefully dissect every word, every action to truly reveal the dark forces who hate Santa, Rudolg and the wisemen who gathered over our savior's glowing crib-as shown in the cartoon docu-drama from the 70's "The Little Drummer Boy."


Leading my list of Christmas haters has to be the city of Chicago and its godless mayor. There is no denying that Chicago hates Christmas. Next thing you know they will change the name of the "Miracle" Mile to the "Inconsequential-life-event-dictated-by-an-ever-evolving-random-universe" Mile. Just a few facts to prove my point:


300 "illegal" cabs ticketed and impounded over the weekend, along with 400+ vehicles towed from city streets designated as snow routes. These cruel siezures of private patriotic American property resulted in hundreds of thousands of Dollars in fines. Coincidence that so-called "snow" coincides with Christmas? That is money stolen directly from Christmas retailers. How many little children will go without this Holi...oops, I mean, Christmas Season?

Want to give the gift of a gun this year to a loved one? Not in the city of Chicago, which bans the Second Ammendment right of gun ownership. Ane next time you're in gridlock traffic and late for a Christmas party, or trapped in line ith an arm full of gifts without that gun to clear the line or make room in the turn lane thank Mayor Daly for ruining Christmas!

Every kid knows Santa's girth allows him to glide gently down every chimney to leave gifts for all the girls and boys who have been good Republican, anti-choice, gun-owning, war-loving, Catholic-wary Christians.
next year, when some child discovers an anorexic Santa crumpled in the fireplace, with compound fractures, and damn near delirious from low blood sugar thank the Chicago city board and their abusive taxes on Milk and Cookies.

I priced a plastic Christmas tree(thanks pagans for that holiday accoutrement)at the local target and was aghast to learn it would carry a 10% sales tax! Looks like I'll be visiting the local cemetery with a saw at midnight again this year!

Worst of all the ASPCA kills puppies and kittens! Cute, cuddly Christmas critters that would look oh so cute stuffed into a stocking overnight. Just the perfect gift for a child who, after a week or so grows tired of their gifts, especially the ones who require caring, food and a walk now and then. Think of the ASPCA as a clearing house for all those puppies and kittens whom good anti-choice folks believe deserve to be born, and who are critters from the moment they are concieved in an alley, the middle of the street or in the yard.

Thank goodness the righteous folks on the Right are keeping the Christmas dream alive. AM 560 played a lovely little Christmas ditty, well in keeping ith the spirit of the season. They played a joyous version of Jingle Bells with shotgun blasts. Remember that funny version with the barking dogs? And you thought it couldn't be bested! Way to go AM 560! Now that's the proper spirit for the season of pea...oops, I mean shopping.