A war on Christmas, you say? Sign me up, and do it fast. Dear God, I wish I had enlisted a week before Halloween, when stores were already putting up Christmas decorations! Are you kidding? It is an awful distraction when I'm trying to focus on my pagan holiday for the undead. Never mind that the spirit of giving on Halloween has a character above and beyond what Christmas has become in this great nation (The magic of being a supreme cynic is you never really know when I'm being sarcastic).
We need a war on Christmas just to keep it sane. We need to draw deep and definitive battle lines before the hyper-commerciality and an uber-pushy element within the Christian community overruns what sanity still exists in this country. Roll bndages, man the trenches and keep Christmas where it needs to be.
No one is seriously calling for the eradication of the holiday. That's a made up antagonism by manipulative Republicrooks. Their blathering about greeting folks with "Happy Holidays" rather than some Nazi-esque commandment to retort a dutiful "Merry Christmas," is a cannard. That's right, I said cannard, and I am not even 50! But seriously, October for Christmas stuff? We start getting forecasts for Christmas retail sales in freakin' August! August!
I have Jewish friends who find Christmas a secondary holiday to Hannukah, and Muslim and non-Christian immigrant friends who dig the festive, family nature of the holidays, beginning at Thanksgiving and ending on New Years, when all normal people are by then exhausted, depressed, broke and fat! So it is "Happy Holidays," Christmas being just one among them.
People, I am seeing Christmas decorations in houses already, and now, with all of these shopping holidays, like Black Friday and the Christmas gift return period(A whole other set of hypocrisies) Christmas is like a fungus or the Blob-the good one with Steve Mcqueen; it just keep growing and growing and...
Each year we, as a nation, are whipped into more and more of a fervor to spend and spend and spend. It isn't about family and giving anymore, it has become a matter of national economic survival. Frenzied crowds assault, trample and even kill one another over marketed campaigns for the latest "must-have" toy.
Enough already! Sigh me up and ship me to the front. Christmas doesn't have to go, but it has certainly proved enough of a nuasance that it must be faced and battled back to what it is supposed to be. Not sure any more what that is? Might I suggest A Christmas Carol, the original classic from 1938, with Reginald Owen. Better yet, gather the family and read the book together(A guy nmed Dickens wrote it).
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